During a regular coffee meet-up with a friend of mine, I learned something I wished to share. I will call my friend, Dr. Ben, who is a hypnotherapist of 40 years and well versed in areas of trauma and abuse.
As we sat outside the coffee house, we witnessed a parent getting angry and spanking her son with a few hard hits to the butt.
Of course it gave me an ill feeling as I am clairsentient, and Dr. Ben looked at me with disapproval, for he deals with people hurting everyday from abuse like that.
Spanking damages in many ways and is not a discipline method, it is an expression of anger. Some parents whose child acts out in public feel like they need to do something and due to a lack of skills in parenting, they resort to yelling and hitting their child.
He gave me a long stare almost as though I had done something wrong, but I knew he was gathering something inside. I broke eye contact and sipped my creamy coffee. The parent and child were long gone by the time he opened his mouth.
He shared a story about a client of his, and had been working with her for over five sessions to get to the bottom of issues. I will name her Penny for this recall. He said there is a unspoken physical harm that is done to all children by spanking.
Spanking any place on the body was wrong and damaging. That although we had talked so many times about the emotional and mental abuse that occurs, he had a client who had physical harm as well.
Penny Came to Heal
Penny went to him as she could not have any successful relationships with men. She did not want to try out women sexually, she added with a chuckle as some people suggested to her. She just wanted a male partner to enjoy life with. She could feel at her age she was missing what life was about. She felt so outside of humanity and so very alone. She felt flawed and unloved even by her friends.
In their hypnosis session, Dr. Ben took her back to her childhood to recall events that might reveal some of the causes of her low self-esteem and her issues with trust.
In the session, Dr. Ben asked her to go back to the first time she seemed to have her trust challenged.
Penny found herself in a memory when she was a year and a half old. Her father was spanking her bottom with one hand and holding her tiny arm with the other so there was not escape. Her arm ached as his grip was so tight. He was yelling at her while his large hand hit her buttocks, although Penny could not hear the words clearly as she was feeling the shocking pain. She did not understand what he was saying or why he was hitting her. She was frightened and confused. When he let go, Penny said she ran away and hid in the closet, and thought that her father was so very mean. Her father could no longer be trusted, he was dangerous. She had not seen this anger in him before. She wondered why he now did not like her.
Penny is 64 years old and healthy by the look of her, Dr. Ben recalled. Her family appeared to be the average family coming through the world wars and into a progressive North American lifestyle of the 1950’s. Her father was in the armed forces and mother a stay-at-home mom. She had other siblings as well. They were probably lower middle class at the time and did what most people did at those time periods.
In the next session, Penny found herself at five years old. Her brother just told her father that she had been ‘messing with his stuff’, and her father went wild. Probably not the first time she had been told to leave his toys alone. Yet she was just a young child. Her brother loved to be in power over her and getting dad involved gave him a feeling of power.
Dad grabbed Penny angrily and took her to her bedroom, pulled her across his lap and spanked her hard. He beat her raw, as Penny said, with many stinging slaps.
Dr. Ben said that Penny actually let out a scream in his office before telling him what she was reviewing under hypnosis. The first one spank felt like it was burning. She cried out she wanted it to stop. But he was tired of telling her. He did not stop.
Her father might have spanked her bottom over 10 or more times, all in the same heated meanness and severity. All the time he was shouting at her; but Penny said something else was going on inside her too.
Besides the awful pain, she said she felt his anger, how he hated her at the moment, how hard he was hitting her tiny bottom, and something inside her felt like it broke.
Dr. Ben asked her what might have broken but she stayed silent.
It was not like a bone or a muscle, blood vessel or some body part, but something deeper and subtle. She told him later that it was not her will breaking, which might have been the father’s goal, but her happiness broke away and drifted far.
Dr. Ben let the silence continue so she could discover what was going on during this age, for this was the reason for the sessions. He later felt that this one experience was a huge trauma for Penny which changed the course of her life. Trusting men had changed, and fearing abuse was added for sure.
Dr. Ben then asked while she was still under to move forward a few minutes in time and tell his what she saw.
She said she just saw herself in bed, crying. Crying for she felt so alone and unwanted. She just cried through the night.
Her bottom hurt so bad she could only sleep on her stomach. Bruises later showed up. She said she did not come out of her room for three days, except to go potty. Her mom brought her some food but she did not eat, just drank whatever came. She hated her brother for telling on her like that, for she did not do anything to his stuff, just touched it. She hated her brother and felt he was dangerous too.
Penny said she wanted to die. This family did not love her, she felt convinced they would rather see her dead. Her beating was so severe for a five-year old child, that it clearly relayed to her she was unwanted.
Penny admitted that she grew cold inside and was never the happy child she was formerly. She recalled later that she felt angry most of her teen years, an anger she could not figure out what is was for. She felt betrayed by her siblings and could never trust either of her parents again. She found reasons to stay away from home as much as she could. She would wonder outside in the woods until dinner time, playing with rocks and trees.
Dr. Ben said he marked this as the point where she lost much of her confidence and sense of self. That even as Penny was reviewing what she saw, her voice got so small and broke up a lot during the telling. Her eyes were closed, with tears out of the corners of her eyes.
The next hypnosis session Penny found herself at age 11, and this time it was again her father yelling at her. She said in a tiny voice that her father had threatened her life, that he could kill her. Her father was red with rage and accusing her of something that she had not done.
Penny had no voice in the matter. He spanked her again in his rage. Penny was no longer fearing the pain of it, but felt she was very distant and lost.
Moving forward in time, she overheard her brother boasting how he got his dad to punish her, yet he had done the deed. Penny felt at this time she was fighting for her soul. She wanted to run away from home but knew that also meant she would die. she knew she could not survive as a child in this world. She had no place to go. She could imagine sitting behind the strip mall and dying of hunger.
Dr. Ben paused telling her story there. He took a long drink of his cold coffee and sat it down.
He added that Penny had been spanked many times throughout her early childhood. Spanked with hands, belts, small tree branches, any thing at hand. Even her mom had spanked her, she said with a twisted sense of humor that her mom could not spank as it did not hurt. There were times her mom left finger nail scratches from grabbing her arm.
Most of the spanking was done by her dad. Spanking was the way this family disciplined their children. Penny had recounted that most of the time she did not know why she was being spanked until a week or so later. So it made it hard to make changes and life felt like you were walking on broken glass sometimes.
Her three sisters were spanked sometimes, but no one was spanked as often as Penny. She could not figure out why her father targeted her so much.
Her brother was the ‘golden boy’ in the fathers eyes, he could do not wrong. And yet her brother was also mean and mischievous. He would set fires and break public property at will, but the news of that never reached his father, or if it did, his father would deny it. Her brother set her up for the fall-guy in the family and set his father on Penny for sport. Her sisters caught on and also blamed Penny.
Dr. Ben at this point got upset, set down his coffee while his voice rose up. He said that Penny developed a life long problem with hemorrhoids, a result of vicious spanking. That the nerve endings in her bottom were always excitable in stressful situations. He said that way into adulthood they just would come and go according to the stress of being around people. Being at a party, her hemorrhoids would just bleed and she would have to go home. Social stress was now part of her fear base.
He said most physicians might say spanking has no affect in creating health disorders in the buttocks as they believe hemorrhoids were just created by dry fecal matter or by ‘genetics’ (the overused and understudied catch-all as no real doctor can claim connections without DNA tests and research first).
Doctors today just look at physical causes and thus really only look at a small part of our actual anatomy. They even look at the muscle tissue of the buttocks and say, sure parents can hit this area, it’s just muscles we use to sit on with no regard to the nervous and circulatory systems.
That is why Penny still had problems with hemorrhoids when she was in session with Dr. Ben., as the doctors just played with the symptoms by suggesting ointments and laxatives, more water and fiber, yet nothing decreased their ever-present threats to bulge and bleed in times of stress she complained.
Most doctors do not understand the cellular memories of reoccurring complaints in the body. Most doctors believe the body is just another machine, void of any consciousness or memory.
Penny had told Dr. Ben admitted that although she married and divorced two times, that she never had an orgasm with either of them. Her mates were also abusive and demeaning to her. She looked for reasons why she could not have orgasms, physical reasons but found none, and just learned how to fake them, hoping one day a turn around.
In her late 30’s, she finally had enough energy medicine healing sessions that the damage she received as a child to her root energy center started to heal and she could finally have an orgasm.
To meet this soft-spoken lady you would think she had a good life. She was kind and helpful, with a optimistic outlook Dr. Ben added.
Dr. Ben declared that he has three beautiful children of his own. He loves them dearly and never ever would used any corporal punishment with them. He used talking things out, teaching and goals. Children are here to learn and may not know unless someone is helping them, so they will make mistakes, and by no means is that a reason for beating them up. He swallowed up the last of his coffee in one huge gulp.
Penny confirmed what he believed, that nothing was right about spanking, even on the bottom that suppose to have ‘cushioning’ and therefore can take hitting. Spanking is an act of violence and creates horror for any child who have to withstand it.
We changed the subject and then had to call an end to our chat and get on with our day.
Spanking Creates Hemorrhoids and Sexual Disabilities
When I got home I had to check out the anatomy of the human buttocks, specifically the nervous system as it laces through the sacrum and coccyx bones.
If you look on this diagram, the “pudendal nerves” lace into the soft muscle areas of our buttocks and anus area. These are damaged during heavy spankings.
These were the nerves providing over-stimulation during stress for Penny. When spanking very young toddlers or pre-schoolers, as that was the time Penny received them, the hitting effected the growth of these nerves. Spanking does this to most people as well. There are many physical and painful outcomes that haunt people throughout their life due to spanking. Most people do not understand this and blame their diet instead.
For one reason, people want to love their parents and will turn a blind eye on any flaws or hurtful moments. Children especially will just accept bully behavior as it is their parent. Their parents are like gods and thus they must accept beating and abuse along with everything else.
Penny did; she had loved her dad so much she buried her abusive past deeply. She also put the blame on herself, that she did something, was flawed somewhere and was unlovable.
Many people write about the emotional and mental damage of spanking and harsh discipline, for it is so true. Use your imagination and think about how big people terrorize little helpless people and wonder why our world is always at war? As people grow up, we bully each other and have very little consciousness on hurting others for most any reason. We were taught that hitting is right and good.
Spanking’s outcomes are the seeds for a very unhappy society; a world all going to war as they are angry and what to express that anger. Many people just want to kill others as they feel wronged.
This article is just about one person’s life ruined by spanking, now multiply that times the unhappy people in the world.
As for the inability to have a sexual orgasm, as an adult, the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies were greatly effected by the spanking so that the root energy center was also impaired.
Our root energy center is located at the perineum, which is between the genitals and the anus; it is a vortex of energy that faces downward and connects to the Earth energies.
The root energy center feeds upward in to the body the vital forces of earth we need to live. The root chakra is the lower area of existing energy that runs through our Tube of Light that is moving constantly throughout spinal core and up through our crown chakra at the top of our skull. Many people are experiencing illnesses due to the damages of this vital energy center. Once this center closes, life diminishes. (*3)
No ‘loving’, ‘sensual’ energy could really be enjoyed when enough mental, emotional, physical and spiritual abuse is marked for this area. Life is threatened, and so these energy centers narrow or shaped oddly in order to survive. This occurs in both men and women. Threatening one’s survival is a deep wound and the cause of many illnesses.
Penny would be “seen as a victim of sexual abuse’, due to her physical and energetic damages. Now her father never touched her sexual organs, nor had any contact in a sexual way, and yet the spanking instantly creates damage to our sexuality through the root energy center.
How easily spanking damages our sensual being, and our nervous system, it just takes a few times and it is done. This may differ between people but an accumulation will definitely cause some type of deformation of our core structure and functions.
Now as those who study Energy Medicine know that like attracts like as the cellular frequency emitted by people attracts other just like them; thus a child who receives abuse to her sexual energy areas, will attract more people to abuse her and who also have been abused.
No Excuse for Abuse
As a spanking parent, you are assaulting and beating your child in a way that will make their life much less than it could be. You are a big bully, and you are not “teaching them” anything other than how to bully, hit others, and how you do not love them.
Children learn to hit others, learn anger, feel fear at an intense level, and hey feel they did something so wrong you won’t love them. It really never teaches them to behave in a conscious way. It is the path of fear and control. Learning to behave takes calm teaching, example and constant instruction in a loving and clearly outlined way.
Children may never find happiness with a partner, or their own self as they grow older. The child will learn to hate their own parents, or feel so insecure they always attract people who will beat them to make them feel part of something, as children will love their parents blindly and believe that love means getting hit, abused, yelled at and harmed too.
Real parenting is about showing the way to become a wonderful productive, sensual person. It is a way of teaching young humans to become happy and productive.
Spanking is about teaching a child to hit, hate and be angry. It is about “bully in training” and also depletion of character.
Spanking is Demonic
Christians who spank are anti-Jesus. In His own words he tells us to “Love One Another”, Love your Children. The bible stories of Jesus is how he loved children. He was never shown hurting even one of them.
Religious people who spank are doing demonic works. There is no love in abuse and harming another. Never in the Bible does God say it is appropriate to be hitting your children when you judge them to be wrong. Holy books say it is evil to judge and abuse.
There is no place on the body that can take repeated abuse without damaging it. Those that quote the “spare the rod” are misinformed.
People made that idea up, as they lacked any intelligence to guide children in the ways that are benevolent. Mankind made an excuse that God said so in order to compensate for their own anger and misguidance.
Many parents who practice beating children were beat themselves, so they just pass in anger and hate.
Re-coding Cellular Memories
Dr. Ben is well versed in methods to neutralize traumas and took Penny through many techniques to clear her of the old childhood emotional and mental damages. He never prescribes drugs, for in his philosophy, drugs interfere and delay resolutions. He has had many successes. Penny was one of them.
Penny is now traveling in Australia with a male friend, and she is happy, something she has missed most of her life. Even her hemorrhoids have not shown up during her trip she texted Dr. Ben, and so he feels hopeful for Penny.
When the emotional/mental electrical charges that are stored at a cellular level are neutralized in the body, the body will heal itself and the mis-creations within. It also changes the cellular frequencies so that life will change all around a person. Gradually, as life force does, but change comes and in a good way.
Dr. Ben gave me permission to write about Penny. Penny (not her name) also gave her permission hoping it helps someone.
There are many wonderful, time-proven methods parents can use without ever hitting their child. (*1) Take time and learn new methods if you feel you need to hit to get a child to do right. (*2) Hitting may not even guarantee you get the response you need.
Be more specific and you get better results. You guide you child in a firm but loving way and you will see a shining adult in time.
If you were abused as a child, there are many ways to change the trauma ‘charges’ with your cells and heal so that you won’t pass forward some very old and wrong patterns of abuse.
Listening and practicing the inner workings of your own energy systems is one way. There are many complimentary therapists that can assist you. You will feel so happy for doing it and in turn bring that happiness in to your family. This is how world peace begins, at home! Be in Peace!
We are very privileged to have some excellent parenting research and new methods to lead our children towards right and healthy behavior. Spanking is done out of running our of ideas, short temper and lack of skills in teaching children. And yes, it is not easy being a parent!
~ Carolyn Thompson
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(*1) Step Away from Old Victorian Era Parenting, Please! an article filled with many alternatives to harsh discipline >> tools for the parent, brief descriptions<< yet they all work very well. Parents need to work with empathy, (sensing what is really going on in their child) and with creativity in order to choose what method of shifting a child’s focus works at the time. Sometimes all it really takes is listening to the child go on about what they are feeling.
(*2) Nurturing Parenting An excellent educational program to develop empathy in parents to avoid abusing their loved children. It is so easy to do it like mom/dad did it and hit and spank, when research shows how that develops in to what parents really do not wish for their children. This program has so many wonderful tools and insights for assisting parents with their tough responsibility. This program is used for all ages and has been taught to even groups of our Armed Forces for a more effective relationships in their line of duty.
(*3) WHEELS OF LIGHT: Chakras, Auras, and the Healing Energy of the Body by Rosalyn Bruyere explores the seven chakras, or energy centers, of the body with particular focus on the first chakra, which has to do with our basic life force, our physical bodies, and our sexuality. Drawing on scientific research, Native American culture, the ancient traditions of the Egyptians and Greeks, the philosophies of the Hindus, and the religions of the East, Rosalyn L. Bruyere presents a unique perspective on the value and healing potential of the chakra system.
(*4) Chakra Healing CD In this 60-minute audio cassette, the Rev. Rosalyn L. Bruyere not only offers a clear description of the chakras and the auric field, but she also guides listeners through exercises and meditations for sensing and interpreting the flow of chakra energies within. Being able to sense these chakra energies at a cellular level enables us to participate more fully in our own healing and spiritual growth process. The Rev. Bruyere is an internationally acclaimed healer, clairvoyant and medicine woman. Founder and Director of the Healing Light Center Church, the Rev. Bruyere is a frequent collaborator with physicians and scientists. Her knowledge of ancient traditions and practices, and her ability to see patterns of disease and to transform tissue at a cellular level, have brought her worldwide attention. http://www.rosalynlbruyere.org/