Oh my! How many people cheat on their spouses in this present life? Cheating is breaking that promise made of keeping a monogamous relationship. What happens when you have cheated in a past life? Is it gone? Not really.

Learning from Sensei Norma, I understand that anyone who cheats on their mate, hurts everyone in the family and beyond. Everyone knows something went wrong as we are all connected. Everyone cries inside when someone cheats in a marriage. They might not know consciously exactly what happened but the energy information went out and suspicions rise.

My Infidelity, But not in this Life

Back when I was studying psychic awareness with a group, I stumbled upon my past life infidelity. I guess stumble is not the word, I ran smack face in to it. I had no idea that was a thing..

Studying in a group of about 16 people, we were all wishing to enhance their psychic abilities and become good at channeling. Our teacher, Jenifer was a lady who channeled an Ascended Master. Her assistant,Greg, helped her teach. We practiced channeling for each other and in groups. It was well organized and I learned so much by practicing with people.

Most of the time we would pair off in to groups of two and take turns, while focusing on certain subjects. Other times we would sit someone in the middle and we all gave the messages we received to the one. It was through this that many realized their skills and had confirmations right there. There were no wrong answers, just experiences. Yes, adult circle time!

Jenifer was married to Peter who helped around this organization for spiritual awareness, but was never in the classes. He was a kind face and supportive.

The class was full of earnest people, wanting to deepen their talents through practice and direction. People of all kinds of talents were there to learn through practice and good guidance.

This practice in a safe place was just what I was looking for. I attended the second level of classes as well. There were a few new faces and many from the former first level class.

Slow Reveal

It was early on that I felt this deep attraction to Greg, the assistant. It lingered even when I was away from class. I would be working on a book publication and listening to country western music on the radio and found I was singing each love song as though Greg and I had a chance to be together. You know… that longing! This longing kept growing, yet my inner voice warned me not to act upon it. Do not approach Greg about this.

One class I dared to send him a blue light bubble, an orb of etheric material that carried a message of my attraction to him (Oh yes I am not listening to my inner voice, am I?). As the class started, the Ascended Master said through Jenifer that we were to keep our feelings to ourselves as there is a tendency to want to become closer in classes like this, as classes to create a sense of intimacy through our honesty and working together.

I looked at my feet, thinking “busted!” I knew the Ascended Master had intercepted my bubble and Greg never got my blue bubble message.

In class the next time, we did a group message exercise. Someone sat in the middle and everyone would go within and receive a message for the person sitting in the center. One at a time each shared whatever they received psychically, exactly like they heard/saw/read/knew. Everyone got a chance to sit in the middle as well as read for each person.

It helped to do it this way so we might hear similarities and differences that help us to understand this process. One might just get a color, sound, or image, or perhaps a larger vision, whatever it was, we were to just say exactly what we received and not to try to think-it-out. As receivers, we do not always know the person or the symbols, images and pieces of communication that make sense to only them. Red it me might be something different than another.

When I sat in the middle, I received a few nice messages, and some made no sense to me at the time, I wanted to take notes so I could follow up, but it was more about the flow, allowing the flow. For when we keep ‘thinking’ we can stop the message flow..

When it was Greg’s turn to tell me the message he got for me, he said he saw me dancing as a young child, with some country western music playing in the background, and then suddenly, the background fractured in to shards and the whole vision fell away.

As the next person was telling me what they psychically received, Greg bolted up and left the room. He did not show up for the following class. What was that about?

Longing Persists

I was still not able to curb my loving feelings for him, feelings of “maybe this could be love” was growing. I felt very cautious, though. Feelings grew and my mind was pushing me to go and talk to him. I even thought about talking to his friends about it, but I did not. I still had this huge inner knowing not to act upon any of it. I thought about what to say, when to do it, yet my Higher Self was saying “do not”. Do not tell him and leave this alone. So I did not. This is discipline, the whole reason for the class and the path. Intuition needs to lead and the mind follow.

At one point I could not take it anymore, I called a psychic friend of mine and asked about Greg. She paused and said there are better men down the road, forget this man, and she would not talk about him more than that.We had a nice conversation.

Not good enough, I thought, I need to know more. There is something there. My friend was probably protecting me from what she knew.

Calling a second psychic friend I asked her what was going on. She went directly to a past life where Greg and I were married. We were close friends with Jenifer and Peter who were also married at that time. (ah, all four of us are now together in this one organization!) One fateful day, my then-husband Greg walked in on Peter and I having sex in our bed. In his rage, he murdered both of us.

Huh? WHAT?

I know it is very hard to reverse a deed like infidelity here in the present, but what do I do about a past life? Can I make it right?

My psychic friend told me to go to the inner-planes and call them all in, forgive each other, and cut aka cords.  She told me to provide chairs for them, although no physical  bodies were coming, they would attend in their etheric bodies.

I had never done that before. But I had to get out of this situation now. I thanked her and decided I will do just that.

The Remedy

At home, I felt a need to make a ceremony of this so I got out my big quartz crystal and placed it on the coffee table. I placed a candle and a pair of scissors beside it. I sat so that when they came they would be sitting in a circle. I went in to deep meditation to a point of stillness.

Eyes still closed, I called in Greg first; I saw his spirit form sit in the big chair next to me but his slumped pose was of regret as he was looking at his lap. I told him I was now aware of what happened and apologized for my behavior back then. He said nothing.

I then called in Jenifer and Peter; they sat on the sofa together. Jenifer was angry. Peter sat like we were old friends.

I told them that this was a forgiveness circle. I apologize for my behavior and asked for their forgiveness. In my mind’s eye I then went about passing around imagined scissors, so we all cut our aka cords that kept us bound in our solar plexus. Looking at the aka cords, there were many within each of us. How long have we been connected, I wondered.

I told them thank you we were finished and one by one their spirit body whooshed right through the large crystal and out of the top and were gone.

Sitting in my silence I just waited to sense what it was now like. There was a peace. I got up after about 15 minutes more.

Life Shifting

With only two more classes left, Jenifer was alone in teaching us. Greg was nowhere to be found. My feelings for him went away ever since I my forgiveness ceremony. The relationships we all had together were now falling apart quickly and there was no reason for us to be together anymore. In time Peter and Jenifer divorced. I move far away.

Vision Quest by Joyce Jackson


Jenifer and Greg were studying with a native America shaman who I will call Anna Braveheart. They all were offering a Vision Quest, a three-day event where a participant would go to an isolated place, have no food, fast, and seek a vision. I volunteered to work in the outdoor kitchen. There were twenty people who were going up on the hill to vision for four days.

Anna Braveheart, Greg and a few other assistants were preparing people to go vision and led a sweat lodge, Inipi, to begin their process. Anna and her crew were in trance states during the whole vision quest so to keep a vital connection with those on the hill. They would know if someone needed help. Their eyes were glazed over so we kept silent around those keeping inner watch. We fed them and kept them hydrated but kept silent.

Camping outside always invigorates me, and this was fun for me. I got up before sunrise and started preparing coffee and cutting fruit for those not in the quest. There was a small kitchen team and plenty of supplies.

At one point after several sweat lodge ceremonies for those in the Vision Quest were completed, I asked if they might hold one for the crew. No one knew, but the word went out. The shaman of our group already had several ceremonies and so we all thought that it might not happen for us, the worker bees.

The last day, two Native American shaman come driving in to our campsite to visit with Anna Braveheart. They provided the sweat lodge for all who had not had a chance.

Stones are heated until they are glowing hot before the Inipi begins. It is done with prayer and the utmost care and sacred manner. Those of us who were going in to this sweat lodge stood around in a circle around the fire pit with the stones that were ready for use.

One of the Shaman said opening prayers and passed around his sacred pipe. When I received his pipe and took a breath I felt power and sacredness with the tobacco smoke that I had never experienced before. I exhaled with my prayer to let go of any and all things I needed to and said prayers for others. I was now in a humble state.

As we entered in to the cloth-covered dome with the fire pit in the middle, I was able to sit close to the door and near these shaman. To my surprise, they added about four times the number of red-hot stones that I had ever seen before.

I had been to two previous sweat lodges both led by people not of the heritage so I knew nothing. I realized that these shaman were so accustom to this ceremony, they liked it hot from the start.

The door closed and the water flew freely over the stones as one shaman drummed and they both sang prayers loudly. Cries of pain and moaning came from the others. The men chanted louder and drummed faster. Very hot steam went billowing out from the pit and rolled over people.  Some people were getting scared to be there, asking to leave already. Yet it is not customary to leave until the door is ceremoniously opened.

I knew if you bowed your head toward the dirt floor you would feel some coolness from the earth, but that was not the case in here! Roasting hot steam was enveloping everyone, and the men’s prayers were bringing some interesting visions.

As waves of stinging steam went rolling down my back, I went in to an automatic prayer mode, praying the whole time I was in there. I prayed for family, friends, earth, water, sky and all kinds of prayers flowed from me. After a bit, I noticed that I had a layer of coolness around my body. I still wonder why that was. I saw spirit buffalo enter and many spirit birds along with some other things going on over the fire pit.

Others were begging to leave but still had to wait until the door flap was opened. When the door was opened the first time about 3/4 ths of the people left. All of those that left looked a bit scorched about the shoulders and other places, no serious burns, but alot of really red skin.

Inipi is a very sacred ceremony and not to be taken lightly. It is about healing and purification, as far as I understand it, and I understand very little of it.

More stones were added and the flap closed again for a second round of prayers, drumming, singing, healing and purifying. More water tossed on the glowing hit stones and prayers, songs in Lakota.

Four rounds are traditional, I think, and the prayers would shift accordingly to each round. Yet this ceremony was all in Lakota so all I could do is go within and flow with it.

After the fourth round, we all left the lodge. I sat on the grass cooling off and sipping some water. I felt good and empty inside. I had prayed about my past-life and any infidelity and all those involved too. I was very much in the spirit world, yet sitting on the ground.

The two Native American shaman walked over to me and one asked me if I knew the way to Willie Nelson’s home. I told them the roads to get there although I had never been there, just knew about it. They thanked me and left.

I felt honored, like they might have been acknowledging me for lasting through their entire ceremony. They headed off to visit Willie. I never knew their names or anything about them. They came in like the wind and out again. Yet I felt my own prayers of Inipi ceremony for me were answered.

I saw Greg standing over by the lodge and so I walked over to him and bowed my head, offering him a leather bag I had made that had a package of tobacco in it. I had beaded the flap with a white rain cloud and blue beads for rain. He took it and looked at the beading, and knew this was the closing for us.

At the time I beaded the bag, I had nothing in mind but the design. I brought it just in case I needed a gift. After handing it to Greg, I smiled inside knowing the symbolism was about purification. we do not need to always know, just to follow the flow of intuition so it can fulfill its paths.

Being it was time to leave, I packed my tent and started to drive home. It was then that I realized that I had hardly any strength and vision to drive. I must have still been in the spirit world as I was so out of it, and drove slowly home. I prayed for other hands to help me hold the steering wheel and get me home safe as I was in great need of help. I got home safely.

Hindsight told me I should not have been driving… but then that is thinking and old programing of fear.

Moving Forward

This purification ceremony was the last piece holding me where I lived, and I was now ready to step in to my next adventure. I was moving to Kauai sight-unseen, a leap of faith.

What if I had not known about our past life together? Would we play out a new drama together in this lifetime? Felt like it. I could see he has some attraction to me as well. We might have started dating and things going wrong, who knows! I do not think that far. Yet the idea of living that out that karma in this life was a bit scary since I died in our last relationship, so what could happen in this life? Would someone need to die? So many questions.

These are the gifts of opening up to your divine spiritual self and the skills that are there to work with. We have tools, friends, and other people we can always reach out to and find ways to accomplish things, if we wish. Some may call it ‘risk’ but I call it movement. We do not have to “live out” karma if we become aware and make it right.

With the inner-plane work I did, the four of us were now relieved of any karma connected to our lives before. We used the enormous power of forgiveness and removed the Aka cords that kept us bound. We had other lives together, some very spiritual, and yet this was the one life that we needed to clear up to move forward.

The aka cords are communication lines; we are directly connected through thin lines of vital energy. Yet when the drama is forgiven, those aka cords will wither and dissolve on their own. I chose to cut them as that was all I knew at that time.

Shortly after this, I left for Kauai and each of the other players went in different directions. That growing ‘potential’ drama was avoided.

Forgiveness works across time and space.

~ Carolyn Thompson

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